


A Night on Tycho Station

by orphan_account



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Drunk Sex, M/M, Miller being an emotional wreck, Porn with Feelings, Riding, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Holden finds Miller in a bar and takes him back to his suite. Feelings ensue, followed by some other things.
Relationships: Jim Holden/Joe Miller
Comments: 11
Kudos: 78





	A Night on Tycho Station

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to the five other people in the universe who want these two to kiss, someone needs to write content for this ship and I’m here to do my part

The bright lights and pulsating music in the bar were beginning to wear on Miller’s psyche, but he simply couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. He didn’t want to go back to his shared room with Diogo-he wanted to spend as little time as possible acknowledging that he was roommates with a teenage boy. It wasn’t like he had any friends on the station he could talk to either. Despite the crew of the Rocinante’s graciousness in giving him a ride off Eros, he doubted he could consider them friends, as they all seemed to distrust him. Which was deserved, he supposed, considering their first impressions of him were him getting weirdly sentimental over a dead girl he never met and then dragging their captain into a death trap and getting them both a lethal dose of radiation poisoning. God, they must’ve thought he was crazy.

He ran his hand over his right bicep, feeling the little metal implant that peeked out of his arm. It shouldn’t have taken much getting used to, he shouldn’t have even noticed it at all, but he’d quickly developed a nervous habit of picking at it or running his fingers over it. There was a nagging sensation in the back of his mind every time he touched it that he was going to accidentally pull it out, but that didn’t really do anything to stifle the urge to touch it.

“Showing off your muscles?”

Miller looked up, snapping out of his trance-like state, having been lost in his own thoughts. The bartender, a tall, slender man with multicoloured hair and several tattoos on his cheeks, grinned at him.

“No,” Miller said, staring beyond the man at the back wall of the bar. “My arm hurts is all.”

“You look a little old to be getting into fights, pampaw.”

“I’m… how old do you think I am?”

“Old enough to be me dad, at least.”

“I mean… it’s a long story, okay?” Miller tapped his empty glass gently on the bar. “Just get me another drink, okay kid?”

The bartender’s face shifted into a scowl.

“What’ll it be?”

“Strongest thing you’ve got.”

“You okay with drinking something that tastes like filter runoff?”

“Yeah, sounds great.”

“Good. Gimme a minute.”

The bartender took his empty glass and walked away, returning a few moments later with a glass of something that really did look like it had been scraped out of the bottom of a long-neglected air filter. Miller took a sip. It was bitter, almost painfully so, and it stung the back of his throat on the way down. It still had the moldy aftertaste of Belt alcohol, but it was almost masked by the strong and even more unpleasant flavour unlike anything Miller had had before.

“Perfect,” he rasped. “Thanks, kid.”

“You’re supposed to mix it with juice or something, but me didn’t think you were the type, ke?”

“Damn right.” Miller choked down another sip. The bitterness was starting to numb his mouth in a way that was almost pleasant. He started to lose himself in his own thoughts again. It was all mostly incoherent, now that he’d had Julie Mao torn from his head by the harsh reality of Eros. Maybe the crew of the Roci was right. Maybe he was losing his marbles.

“Miller.”

Miller looked up, turning towards the voice next to him. He pulled a stray bit of hair out from in front of his eyes, looking at the source of the voice and realising he couldn’t see their face. Maybe it was just the dim lighting of the bar, or maybe his vision was getting foggy. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

“Miller, Jesus Christ, how many drinks have you had?”

Holden. Miller recognized his voice. There probably wasn’t a single person in the solar system who wouldn’t have recognized that voice. He had to stifle a groan.

“How many is too many?” he grumbled.

“You look like shit,” Holden lectured. “Your little roommate messaged me. He wanted me to check on you and make sure you hadn’t killed yourself.”

“The kid thinks I went and killed myself? Like… intentionally or by mistake?”

“Is it really that important to you whether the teenager you share a bed with thinks you’re suicidal or just really dumb?”

“I don’t like how you phrased that.”

“I don’t care. Although I do feel like it’s become my responsibility to make sure you don’t drink yourself to death. Intentionally or not.”

“I’m not _that_ drunk.”

“Well, in that case, you’re not getting any more drunk. I’m cutting you off.”

Miller laughed.

“You can’t do that. This is all on my tab. Stay a while, I’ll buy you something.”

“You got fired. You spent the last of your money on a ship to Eros. You cannot possibly have a tab.”

“I’m not that stupid.”

“Look, I’ll buy my own drink.”

“So you’re staying!” Miller leaned in closer to Holden, raising his eyebrows.

“What… what is that? What are you doing?”

“Does this mean you like me now?”

“It means I need a moment while I figure out how to convince you to find something better to do.”

“You wanna buy me a whore?”

“A _what?_ ”

“Y’know. I can afford booze, not sex. If you buy me a whore, that’s a better use of my time than drinking myself to death.”

“God, you’re pathetic. I’m not buying you anything. I mean find like, a friend or something. That kid clearly likes you enough to care if you’re dead, maybe you can ask him to show you around the station.”

“You just accused me of sleeping with him, now you want me to ask him for a tour of the station? Are _you_ drunk?”

“I never said you slept with him. I don’t think you’re that sick.”

“What do you mean, _that_ sick?”

Holden sighed, resting his elbows on the bar and staring off at the back wall.

“You’re… you’re weird, okay? Like, that sounds wrong, but you are. I mean, fucking Amos is a little freaked out by you, and I’m pretty sure he’s killed people.”

“I’ve killed people. I’m a cop. Or, I mean, I was.”

“See, that’s what it is. You’re just so off about everything. You talk about killing people like it’s nothing, but you cried over a dead girl you never met. You don’t act like a human being, Miller. It’s disturbing.”

“I’m a human being.”

Holden sighed.

“I know. That’s not what I meant.”

Miller choked down the last of his drink and collapsed onto the bar.

“God, you’re really drunk, aren’t you,” Holden muttered, resting a hand on Miller’s shoulder.

Miller muttered something under his breath that Holden didn’t want to listen to.

“Come on. We’re gonna leave now, okay?” He pulled Miller gently by the shoulder, and Miller sat up in his seat, barely making an effort to move.

“I don’t wanna go. I’m not drunk.”

“Buddy… you really are. Let’s go, okay?”

Miller reluctantly slid out of his seat, pulling Holden with him. He was at least a foot taller than Holden, and he ended up slumping down awkwardly as he attempted to use the smaller man as support. Holden allowed him to put his arm around his shoulder, pulling him down at an awkward angle as they walked through the station. Eventually Holden arrived back at his room, unlocking it and dragging Miller inside.

“This isn’t my room,” Miller slurred.

“I know. I’m not leaving you with that kid while you’re like this. You’re staying here for a while while you sober up.”

“You think I’d do something to him?”

“No, I just don’t think he should have to deal with you while you’re drunk. I don’t think you’re a sicko.” Then, glancing at Miller out of the corner of his eye, he added, “Should I?”

“Hell no. I’ve seen what those people do. Probably shot at least one. Probably the only guy who deserved it.”

“What do you mean, the only guy?”

“That’s the thing about being a cop. You’re not actually supposed to care how many people are getting hurt. Just how many laws are getting broken. You’re just as in the right legally shooting the guy running an unlicensed medical clinic as you are shooting the guy running an underage whorehouse.”

“But you did shoot them.”

“It wasn’t a medical clinic. I don’t think I could’ve done that. Just some guys stealing food. Bulk resources, it was obviously a black market thing and not just kids looking for a meal, but I still felt like shit.”

“How do you stay a cop after that?”

“Y’know, growing up in the Belt. The alternative was getting shot at.

“You could’ve left.”

“You know I hate space.”

“You are so weird.” Holden dragged Miller through the suite, tossing him a bit unceremoniously onto the bed. It was much more comfortable than Diogo’s bunk, and Miller figured he’d be content staying the night there at least once. Holden walked away into the attached bathroom, and Miller listened to the soft hiss of the running shower. The noise seemed to go on for an eternity, and Miller had a passing thought about how Holden was paying for all the hot water before he realized the bill was probably being footed by Fred Johnson.

Holden stepped out of the bathroom with his hair still soaked and a towel around his waist.

“You’re naked,” Miller commented.

“So?” Holden casually walked over to the small dresser in the corner and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms. Miller tried not to stare, but he was too drunk to really exercise that level of self control. He hadn’t noticed it before, but Holden was pretty. He was short, and his hips and belly were rounder than what Miller was used to seeing, but once he looked past the distinctly Earther parts of Holden the man truly was beautiful. His arms and chest were muscular, subtly enough that Miller hadn’t noticed it when Holden was clothed but clearly enough to be attractive. His ass (and oh god, Miller really should’ve stopped staring by now) was curved in such a perfect way, and his thighs were wide, Miller couldn’t tell if it was fat or muscle but he knew he liked it.

It was just like him, to drool over an Earther like this. He made a terrible Belter, he always had. Earther bodies had a softness to them that was absent in the sharper, bony forms of Belters, and he’d always admired them at a distance. Having met so few Earthers in his life, he’d never gotten a chance to really admire one like this, but Holden was more beautiful than he’d ever imagined.

“I know you’re checking me out,” Holden said, his back still turned to Miller as he pulled on the pajama pants. Miller quite near let out a whine as his view of Holden’s ass was obscured.

“I am not,” he grumbled.

Holden turned around.

“I have extra pajamas if you want to change.”

“So now you wanna check me out in return?”

“What? No, you can go in the bathroom and change if you want.”

“I sleep naked,” Miller said with a grin. He leaned back in the bed, removing his hat and setting it on the nightstand. Before he could begin to take off his jacket, Holden spoke again.

“Just… keep your underwear on, okay?”

“Fine.”

Holden stood with his arms crossed as Miller undressed. He was definitely watching, but Miller was too drunk to care. Besides, he doubted Holden had a thing for Belters. Or a thing for men. He tossed his clothes unceremoniously onto the floor, leaning back against the pillows again.

“Stop picking at that. You’re going to rip it out.”

Miller blinked. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been picking at his medical pump again.

“Sorry. I’ve been doing that whenever I get nervous.”

“Just be careful with it, okay? If you rip it out, that’s not gonna be a fun way to go.”

Holden sat down next to Miller in the bed. Miller instinctively moved closer to him, curled up with his face against Holden’s thigh.

“You are so weird,” Holden whispered, placing his hand on Miller’s head. His hair was thick and greasy, and Holden didn’t so much run his fingers through it as he did over it.

“You’re very warm,” Miller muttered. He breathed in deeply, getting a noseful of fresh cotton and body wash. It was comforting.

“I just took a shower,” Holden replied. “You could use one too. You smell like a bar.”

“I’m good. I don’t wanna get up.” He lifted his head and rested it on Holden’s thigh, and was more than a little surprised when Holden didn’t protest.

“Are you okay?” Holden asked, moving his hand down the back of Miller’s neck and resting it between his shoulder blades. He ran his thumb over the ridges there, not asking what they were but clearly fascinated by them.

“I… I don’t know.” Miller’s voice was starting to shake. _He really must think I’m crazy. I would too, if I was him._

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Holden said softly. “You’re really drunk right now, okay? You’re gonna feel better tomorrow.”

“I won’t. I never do, y’know.”

“You do this a lot?”

Miller laughed. It wasn’t really a laugh-more like a half-cough, half-cry, but it sounded enough like a laugh.

“Star Helix tried to put me in alcoholism counselling. They fired me before my performance got bad enough it would’ve been required, but I got damn close.”

Holden was silent for a moment, still running his thumb over the ridges on Miller’s back. It was comforting.

“That’s… wow. Okay.”

“Yeah. Psych evaluation days sucked. Gotta make sure you don’t go on a rampage or off yourself or anything. You never know how much you gotta think about eating a bullet before they do something about it. Again, I got damn close.”

“You tried to kill yourself?”

“Not really. Not in any way that would’ve counted.”

“God, I’m… I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“Why are you sorry? I told you, nothing happened.”

“But you thought about it.”

“I thought. I put off going to a hospital after getting stabbed. I drank a lot. I did some other things you don’t wanna hear about. But I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“That’s not exactly comforting.”

“Why does it need to be comforting? You want me here?”

“I mean, it’s not that. I’d just feel bad if you died.”

“You wanna go on some big heroic rescue mission to find me a therapist now?”

“Not if you don’t want that.”

Miller smiled.

“I think that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Why?”

“You always gotta save everyone and everything. Whether they want that or not. If you’re willing to not help me… that’s a lot for you.”

“I mean, I don’t want it to seem like I don’t care if you die.”

“Can we not talk about this? I’m sick of hearing everyone tell me about how I’m sick.”

“Okay.”

Miller sat up, turned towards Holden, and looked him in the eyes. He looked like a sad puppy. Poor, stupid Holden, having to turn down a brand-new charity case.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Miller sighed, putting a hand on Holden’s cheek. Once again, he was surprised when Holden didn’t push him away.

“Like what?”

“Like you feel bad for me.” He ran his thumb over Holden’s cheek, and the man’s eyelids fluttered just slightly. Miller’s heart jumped. Maybe he was just stupidly drunk, or maybe…

He pressed his forehead against Holden’s. Holden’s eyes widened, and he cautiously placed his hands on Miller’s hips, seemingly more for support than anything else.

“You think I’m crazy?” Miller whispered.

“I think you’re very drunk,” Holden replied.

“You know I’m drunk. Do you think that’s why I’m doing this?” He pressed his lips to Holden’s, quickly, gently, testing the waters.

“I think you’re doing this because you have no concept of social norms. And because you’ve never seen an Earther like this before and you’re getting overexcited. And also because you’re very, very drunk.”

“I’ve been drunker.”

“Look, do you actually want something? Or is this a power play?”

“It could be both.” Miller kissed Holden again, more insistently this time. He found himself pushing Holden against the pillow, straddling his thighs to get a better angle. Holden kept ahold of his hips, pulling him in closer.

“If you’re trying to prove to me that you’re mentally sound, it’s not working.”

“I’m not gonna convince you of that. I’m crazy, not stupid.”

“I never said you were crazy.”

“Maybe that’s the wrong word. I don’t care. That’s not my game.”

“What is your game?”

“My game,” Miller growled, biting his lip in a way that could’ve been seductive if he’d had any coordination, “is that I think Earthers are super hot. And I’ve never had one all to myself before.”

“I can live with that,” Holden replied.

“What about you? Secretly got a thing for Belters?”

“I don’t think so?”

“You will,” Miller smiled. He kissed Holden again. This time it was long and sloppy, nipping at his lips and darting his tongue into his mouth. He dug his fingers into Holden’s shoulders, pushing him down even further. Holden squeezed Miller’s hips, pushing him down on top of him. He was laying on his back now, Miller towering over him on his hands and knees.

“This is… unexpected,” Holden muttered.

“Why? You want to be on top?”

“Don’t say it like that. We’re not having sex.”

“Fine,” Miller replied, pouting a little. He sank downwards, sitting on Holden’s thighs, his half-hard cock rubbing against Holden’s leg awkwardly.

“Oh,” Holden whispered. “You… you want to…”

“We don’t need to. I’ll live.”

“Can I just touch you? Would that be okay?”

“Oh, god, _please_ ,” Miller sighed.

Holden reached up and cupped him through his shorts. The relief was instantaneous. Miller suddenly realised how long it had been since someone touched him, he’d almost forgotten how good it felt. Holden’s touch was like heaven, gently squeezing and rubbing him through the thin barrier of his underwear. Miller didn’t want to ask him to put his hand in his pants. What he was doing right in that moment was more than enough.

“You’ve done this before,” Miller gasped out.

“Of course,” Holden replied.

“I didn’t think you were the type.”

“You thought wrong then, I guess.”

“ _Fuck_ , you’re good.”

Holden smiled, wrapping his fingers around Miller’s balls and squeezing. Miller whined. It was an embarrassing noise, but he couldn’t stop it. He rested his hands on Holden’s chest, feeling those beautiful muscles beneath his hands.

“You can take your shorts off if you want,” Holden said.

“I-I can’t,” Miller whispered. His hands were shaking, and he squeezed Holden’s pecs somewhat unconsciously. “You have to do it.”

Holden nodded, pulling down the waistband of Miller’s underwear and freeing his cock. He took it in his hand and stroked gently along its length. Miller bucked his hips into the touch. It was too soft, he wanted more.

“I think I wanna do something,” Holden whispered.

“Just keep going,” Miller snapped. “Stop being a tease, come on.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to know what I want?”

“Fine. Shoot.”

Holden had let go of Miller’s cock, and Miller whined at the absence of touch. He moved a hand up to stroke himself, though it wasn’t nearly as good, but Holden took him by the wrist and pulled his hand away.

“I want you to ride me. Do you want that?”

“Really gonna go from zero to a hundred there, huh?”

“I wouldn’t call it a hundred. I have lube.”

“Of course you do.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, of course, just hurry up!”

Holden smiled, reaching into the nightstand drawer and pulling out a bottle of lube. Of course he kept that in his rented suite on Tycho Station. The little asshole was probably bringing home people to sleep with every night. Everyone in the galaxy got a piece of Jim Holden.

Holden had pulled the waistband of his pajama pants down just enough to free his cock. It was throbbing and hard, which was almost unexpected-had he gotten hard off touching Miller? Miller liked that thought, moaning a little as he watched Holden slick himself up.

“Do you need me to finger you open first?”

“No, dammit, just fuck me already.”

“Are you sure?”

“Come on, this isn’t my first rodeo.” Miller sat up just enough to pull off his boxer shorts, now stark-naked and kneeling over Holden. His bony frame made him look almost alien next to Holden, but he didn’t let himself feel self-conscious about it. Sure, Holden was prettier than him, but Holden was also about to fuck him, so what did it matter?

He lowered himself onto Holden’s cock, taking him almost all the way in without a second thought. Holden wasn’t impressively long, but he was definitely thick, and Miller almost regretted not letting him open him up a little first. He rocked his hips up and down, feeling Holden’s cock stretch him open. The sensation was unbelievable.

“God, you’re tight,” Holden moaned, thrusting his hips upwards into Miller, pushing himself deeper. “You sure this is okay?”

“It’s fucking perfect,” Miller replied, grinding downwards in return. He was already so close after being touched, so he kept his hands off his dick, hoping to make it last as long as possible. Holden grabbed onto his hips again, more aggressively this time, pushing him down in time with his thrusts. Miller felt his breaths coming out in desperate moans, bracing himself hard against Holden’s chest. He came in hot white streaks onto the man’s belly, his whole body shaking with the force of his orgasm. Holden came right afterwards with a long whine.

Miller collapsed onto his chest, in turn getting his release on his own belly.

“Guess you’re gonna have to shower again, he said, still struggling to catch his breath.

“Maybe we can shower together this time,” Holden replied. He placed his hands on Miller’s ass, squeezing gently. Miller sighed happily. The warmth of Holden’s cum still sat comfortably inside him. He’d forgotten how good that felt, the full, slightly achy sensation inside after being fucked.

“I think I’m gonna stay with you from now on,” he said. “We need to do this like, every night.”

“My crew is not going to like this,” Holden sighed.

“You don’t have to tell them. It can be our little secret.”

“You think that’s hot, don’t you.”

“It’s objectively hot.”

“You’re so weird.”

Holden planted a soft kiss on Miller’s forehead. Miller nuzzled his face into Holden’s chest. Holden started rubbing his back, and Miller made a noise akin to a purr. Holden was starting to actually consider letting him stay.


End file.
